She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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