i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hippo gnu deer
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
