The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there's paper in my vomit.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
