My friends, they love my intelligence
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it's like heaven, but drunker
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
