I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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