Sry I called you an 8
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
