We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
