You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
