I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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