just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
