I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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