I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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