So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you win again, gameday.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
