it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
