U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
