i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
