I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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