worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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