That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
