Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
