how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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