What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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