It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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