community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
