kristin has been a bad kristin
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
nutella sex= disaster
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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