Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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