no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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