Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
