I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
