Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
