Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
