ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
