How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
