He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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