You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's never too late to be topless.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
