Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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