Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
