so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
