Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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