when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
