i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
