He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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