I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
