I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
