If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize