Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
