No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
