Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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