You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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