Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
